So i binge this is what i binge with, and how it went and felt.

I took a bath after my workout and saw pineapple and was craving it and was like when i get out I’ll eat it. (2-3 slices) which is around 80-120 (not much right)

but then I saw steak a bit of it and was made two taco with a bit of cheese and put the steak pieces. Yeah my guess is around 300-400 calories.

But wait I didn’t stop their, I drank a glass of milk and about 8 cookies and you can imagine the calories 140 of milk and cookies i say around 300 so that’s 440.

Then i was satisfied. (or so was mentally and psychically)

Now I hadn’t eaten much through out the day ACTUALLY well I ate cereal around 2pm then later in the day ate 3 tortillas, beans, steak, cucumber. Yeah around i say 500-600 calories.

So around 2,100 calories. Now I did exercise but still it’s a lot. I’m suppose to keep around 1,500-1,600

I don’t know my min just went blank. And I didn’t eat in a routine. Morning, Lunch, Dinner.

My whole schedule been messed up. So I need to fix it. :/

when I feel like binge eating. I will play with the Wii and play a song of dance 3. :))

Let’s hope it works!

I notice that when I put my wall paper of stop binge eating (that’s why I only put as icon) I felt this overwhelmed anxiety. I’m guessing cause I haven’t really thought about binge eating as much. Their are times that I stop for a long period of time without thinking of food. I’m focusing on eating when hungry. (which i can tell you is really hard).

I wanted to let you know that when I actually went down to 160 (from 180) when in high school i remember walking a lot. Then as for food. In the beginning I would eat whatever i wanted but kept exercising, as time went by i stopped consuming the junk food and fast food was once in a while. But kept in exercising. I was never panicking over food at all. I ate in moderation. I didn’t worry about what time I ate, I just made sure I was hungry. It was like easy it was only in summer when i lost those 20 pounds. I don’t recall binge eating. When I was finally 160 (close to healthy weight) I remember that I would not think at all about food. In fact I would eat but when I was full I stop (which makes me hope) I would eat anything but when i was full I stop eating no matter what. I still exercised a lot. I would walk a lot. Like at least 5x a week walking for an hour not slow pace but fast pace. (I walked to high school I know VERY far sometimes I have to run to get to class) I didn’t take bus cause my parents were in a budget and surprisingly i never complained. And to this day I still walk to school and just got a bike lol i want to save time and not walk in dark I’m in college so it’s useful. Probably getting a car next year once I find a job this summer.

I don’t know why I’m walking this. I just think I should follow what I did in the past since it helped me. I ate less crap. I ate more healthier. It was tough I do remember the first weeks. I didn’t give up. And this time I WILL accomplish it.

How did i gain the weight? I lost it in sophomore year summer. Maintained through Junior year. Once Senior year hit BAM. I somehow ate a crap load of junk food back then my dad would give me money to buy lunch and i bought crap of course. After school always 711 and I guess that’s when the binge eating started. In just that senior year I went from 160 to 210, scary right? When I was going to graduate I was with my aunt shopping and she so thin and my role model. I cried, when she was trying to help me cause I would not wear anything stylish I didn’t pay much attention to anything. Until that day when she gave me XL shirt It didn’t fit. I cried my eyes out. I couldn’t believe what I had done to myself. It hurt so much. It really did seeing all the clothes that I know I would wear. My self esteem went down. Dramatically bad. Took some gym classes in college for two years I went down to 190. Still haven’t been able to overcome binge eating. Hey at least i lost 20 pounds right? It’s still scary I was in the 200’s. I didn’t want to continue that rode I’m glad I took action. But now I’m giving myself until my birthday which is by end of September (so I’m giving myself 8 1/2 month to lose 50 pounds) by end of month that’s my goal and time. I won’t think by months or weeks but by days.

Wish Me Luck. I’m going to succeed this year 2012- September. Watch Me Shrink!

Today I sorta binged. I was thinking all the emotions that was going through. When in stress I have this emotions telling me to get rid of this stress and anxiety and forget what I’m thinking at that moment. I had already eaten and I wasn’t hungry. But still I went back and got another carne asada taco probably around 250 calories yikes! I was thinking this is what leading me to binge anything stress anxiety related makes me go to food. Now my thinking is how do i change my habit of going to food instead of probably going to do something else rather than eat the stress away.

So I been thinking I need new strategies to do. Think Think.

I been thinking maybe watch a youtube video. Something I don’t really don’t know at the moment. Something to distract me at that moment that I don’t need to go to food to comfort the stress I’m feeling.

I know I’m not hungry, I know I don’t want to eat that thing again since I already ate. But why do I have to go to food just because I have stress, anxiety. Their has to be another way to direct that to something that won’t affect me physically.

I still thinking but I’m writing this to let all my thoughts out their.

If you have any suggestions please do tell.

I wasn’t able to take a bath as I always do which mostly always helps.

Binge eating will continue to happen as I restrict and deprive myself. I need to first learn to eat when I’m hungry and if I’m craving something if at that time I’m hungry then I can have a bit of it. Not always of course. But all foods should be available and not “forbidden”. The high caloric foods will be eaten less. It’s not like I crave bad things 24/7. I know that there will come at least a day in the week when I’m craving something and I will take it.

If your reading this you might think I’m crazy but hell. I notice a difference. I have actually stop caring about cravings a bit more. I do feel guilty sometimes but I don’t binge that so much. I eat that cookie and stop, I eat that candy and stop. Then no binging occurs. I actually am able to control not eating something.  First must overcome binge eating then I can finally not take out unhealthy food but lower the amount and replace with yummy healthier food. This is going to slowly change my eating habits. I’ll eat when I’m hungry.

EAT WHEN HUNGRY.

If craving something then write “Is this something I really want at this moment? Why do I need it? What am I feeling at this moment?”

I’m putting this out their, watch me change my eating habits a different way.

You think depriving yourself and restricting has helped? No it only makes you binge. You will be eating healthy one day and because you deprived and restricted yourself those days then you will binge horribly am i right? Why is it sooo bad to eat that cookie it’s only one cookie. Then you can avoid all binge eating.

How about trying this way? Eat when Hungry and Stop when Full!

This is the first step for my weight loss journey and lifestyle change.

Wish me luck.

So here is to a place where when I’m about to binge the crap. Hopefully this can help me in some way.